Ask The Kid

“Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud.”
    Sophocles quotes

honor: honesty, fairness, or integrity in one’s beliefs and actions.

When it comes down to it, your most valuable commodity is honor, and it must be upheld at all times. Set a standard for yourself, so that you try never to dishonor you or your family’s name. Doing this might seem daunting, but it is fairly simple: regard everyone–even your worst enemies–with respect, be generally responsible and apply yourself fully (see Thought of the Day: Persistence) to every challenge you take on.

What does honor mean to you?

P.S. I apologize for the recent lack of posts, but I have had my time heavily invested in other writing projects (both for school and AmazingTechProducts.com), but within the next few weeks I should be able to be posting more regularly.

Ask the Kid is taking guest posts,  so if you have any ideas, go the the contact form and tell me!

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Creative people always reach a point in their capricious thought process where a change in direction, perspective or intellectual stimulation is required for a different project, and finding an interesting place to work might help you get on a new track. Analyzing what spices need to be added to your metaphorical dish is important, because, no matter how fabulous a natural setting would make your work, it could spoil something that requires a different attitude. Read over the concepts below, and ponder how these suggestions might improve your creations.

Natural Setting

Nature is an endless source of inspiration and motivation—most of what we have created has a natural inspiration. Find a secluded area that you feel has the right ‘vibe’ for what you are working on, and start observing the tendencies of the animals and plants around you; try to include them in your thought process. Take the peculiarities of a fern, for example: it is long and arching and somewhat spindly, but lush and full none-the-less. If you are designing a web site, you could apply that to the visual and structural design of the site by making everything simple, yet still beautiful and practical.

Urban Setting

Humans and their creations are peculiar, and offer a wide range of possibilities for inspiration. My favorite is people watching; observing fellow Homo sapiens allows you to discern the patterns, oddities and blatant inefficiencies of our species: it can fuel inspiration for both pro and anti-human thoughts, because the qualities of humans, however odd and unproductive, are beautiful. Seeing a young business man give a dollar to a homeless person could change your entire attitude, and put your novel, painting or musical composition on a completely different tack.

Traditional Setting

The age-old office location does have its virtues, but sometimes, no matter how much you dislike it, some genres of work demand it. If you happen to be auditing a tax return, a creative flair isn’t appreciated nor requested, so it is best to treat yourself to a long sit in your office to pound out the paperwork to meet your deadline. If, however, you are encouraged to be creative with your filings, presentations or ideas, I encourage you to experiment with the above locations to come up with a fresh concept.

In the end, it is fairly simple: find places that reflect the attitude of your work. If you are writing about the Knights Templar, sit in an old cathedral. If you are designing a web site for a landscaping service, sit in a garden and sketch out your graphical ideas. Where you are will imbue an attitude in your creations, but make sure that you have chosen the right spice to add—an off spice in a dish can wreck the whole thing. 

Where do you like to work?

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Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Problems never go away, so giving up will never improve any situation. Instead of conceding to your pains, devise a scheme to conquer your difficulties, then, even if you fail, you will still be respectable—to yourself and to others. Start off by analyzing what your main objective is, then think about a few different ways to attack it.

 Any thoughts? Post them as comments.

Related Reading:

Ririan Project: Eight Dos and Don’ts of Effective Goal Setting

The Next 45 Years: Seven Keys for Success

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Every once and a while, we find ourselves in an unbreakable funk that we can’t get out of. This air of depression not only ruins your days, but the time of people around you, as it seems infectious, dampening spirits wherever you go. While it may seem impossible, ridding this bad mood isn’t nearly as hard as you thought. Below are seven techniques that have helped me, my family, friends and acquaintances eliminate depression.

1. Music: Music is one of the most powerful mediums of communication, because its pitches and melodies are more complicated than speech, and seem to stimulate a more primordial quality in our minds. Personally, I recommend the Beatles: the dulcet tones of Paul McCartney and the soulful voice of John Lennon are bound to change your attitude. Concentrate on their songs; try to forget the rest of the world, and pay attention to the emotion. If you don’t particularly enjoy the Beatles, look for other songs that resonate with innocence and happiness, and carry messages of love—the best anti-depressant.

2. Laugh: Try to laugh in any way possible. You can surf YouTube, go to a funny movie, attend a comedy club or get together with friends (this is not always advisable, because sometimes friends are responsible for the blues.) The minute you get that first laugh out is the instant you start shedding your bad mood. Always remember: “soap is to the body as laughter is to the soul.”

3. Make a mess: Make cookies, paint your house, jump on the bed—just go crazy! I guarantee that creating a complete chaotic mess will make you pulse with glee, because it invokes a feeling of utter freedom: to make a mess, or to escape your issues. The time spent cleaning up also allow you to think through your situation, and start planning.

4. Eat a Cupcake: Cupcakes are the proverbial symbol of childhood, which hopefully was a time you enjoyed. A simple cupcake (especially your favorite flavor) will whisk you back to those years where your parents protected and housed you; when no relationship problem was bigger than finding out that your crush actually didn’t like you. Spend a few minutes reminiscing—it will do wonders.

5. Exercise: Nothing takes your mind off of mental pain like physical pain, so go to the gym, and work your heart out (If you are in a violent mood, this might be better than hurting someone.); forget about your problems for a few hours. Some exercise, like running, actually puts you in a mental high, which will definitely give you a much wanted reprieve from your problems. After a workout, one normally feels calm and balanced, which will make solving your emotional issues easier.

6. Read your favorite book: Escape to a familiar world (kind of like using a cupcake as a key to childhood) where anything can happen, and you can be anyone you want. I would recommend that the book be funny, romantic or fantastical so that it doesn’t push you farther into sadness. Once you start to get into the story, try to completely loose yourself: don’t stop reading until it’s done. By the end, you will have spent enough time in another world to have gained some mental clarity and patience—maybe you will even be inspired by the story!

7. You time: To leverage your way out of a bad mood, you must concoct a plan of action: analyze your situation, and decide what steps best put you back on the right track. It will take time, of course, so set aside a few hours for your self. This can be in the form of a spa retreat, a camping trip or even a few hours watching Friends re-runs. Hope lifts your spirits, and the best way to create hope is by showing yourself a way out of your problems

If this seems too hard to do alone, find a friend to help you through your bad mood. Have them do some of these activities with you, or just even be with you, because when you’re sad, fresh ideas from a new mind are a sign of hope. Avoid people who you think have been causing your blues and look for someone you know will bring new thoughts to the table, and not make your mood worsen. (If, despite all of you and your friend’s best efforts, you cannot lift your spirits, I would visit a therapist, because you might have a more serious problem that you can’t easily fix yourself.)

The tools are now in your hands, so use them! In the end, only you improve your mood, so choose a few of these activities and see what happens. Remember: hope is what lifts your spirits. If remembering your child hood gives you hope, eat a cupcake. If clearing your mind inspires hope, go to the gym. If you are in a dire situation, make a list of steps to success, because a plan is the best hope.

Related Reading: http://www.egodevelopment.com/top-10-most-positive-habits-of-life/ 

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Everyone has had one. You are so angry at a person that you can’t eat, sleep or work without thinking about what they have done to you. If you are in this situation, you should forget your grudge as soon as possible, because they are the least productive way to tackle situations. You want to make the problem better, not worse. Here are a few reasons why ending a grudge is the best decision.

Mental Health: Resentment and dislike are poison to the human mind and spirit; they narrow your thoughts and make you feel terrible because they won’t vacate your consciousness. Once you end a grudge, a massive weight leaves your back and the clouding leaves your brain—you will feel almost reborn.

People Change: People change very quickly, and what you might have disliked in an individual might not remain in their personality. Opinions fade and replaced; ideas loose their brilliance and are outsourced by new philosophies. The person you hold the grudge against might have changed a long while ago, but you didn’t notice it.

Repugnancy: Being constantly angry doesn’t cast a good glow about you. Your friends might not enjoy your company anymore; you might sacrifice your romantic life for spite. The person you are angered at has a family and friends as well, who might in turn shun you for ostracizing their friend. Grudges will absorb your life, because humans aren’t meant to be angry all of the time and most are capable of managing both happy and hateful relationships at once.

Opportunities: By being repugnant, you might miss critical opportunities that could advance your career or personal life, or even have an effect on your success for the rest of your life. In retrospect, you will surely anger yourself when you examine what advantages you passed up due to a fight between you and another person, probably over something trivial.

Grudges will take a toll on your life in multiple ways, and are almost never reasonable. Don’t waste your time unproductively—you only have so much of it, why spend it angry and lonely? If you are in a grudge, end it; it is for the better. If you aren’t remember that happiness and love will always lead you in the right direction, not spite.

What are your experiences with grudges?

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“Learning is not compulsory… neither is survival.”

W. Edwards Deming
US business advisor & author (1900 - 1993)

 

Every day, try to learn something new in a field you know little about.  Today I learned that when you walk down a hill, the pressure on your knees is three times greater than your body weight. What did you learn? Post your tidbit as a comment!

If you have a few extra minutes, start a log of one new fact you learn everyday–it could be a great resource in the future!

Further Reading:  Positivity  Blog: 21 Inspirational Quotes on Education
Ririan Project: 15 Fun Activities to Keep your Mind Sharp 

Note: this is the first of a series of short daily posts in between my more substantial articles. If you enjoy this, or anything else on Ask the Kid, please subscribe to my RSS feed (by e-mail or RSS reader) and Digg/Stumble my posts.

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Impressions are important: they leave an initial taste in people’s mouths that can remain prevalent for the entire relationship. If you are paranoid about what kind of impression you make, run through these seven list items and see if you are consistent with them; if you are, then you will probably expose the best of yourself. If not, then work to meet these standards.

1. Dress: The absolute first impression you will make on someone will be through your clothing, because that is what is seen from a distance, and cannot change throughout your meeting. Make sure to dress according to the situation—don’t over or under dress—and maintain within the limits of good taste. If you aren’t sure if what you’re wearing looks good, ask people for an honest opinion. One last thought: always, and I mean always, pull up your pants.
2. Hygiene: Take a shower! Shave! Brush your teeth! You must be fully bathed and groomed before you meet with someone for the first time, because scruffy looking people generally don’t seem as neat and mature. Pay attention to the little elements like breath: keep a pack of mint gum with you wherever you go, and periodically check to make sure you aren’t killing bugs every time you breathe out. If you sweat heavily, keep a small stick of deodorant/anti-perspirant close, and if you notice you’re stinking you can freshen up. People notice the minutiae!
3. Manners: At the table and with other people be civilized, polite and respectful: keep your elbows off of the table, open doors for people and address everyone—initially, at least—by their formal title. This will make an especially good impression on senior citizens, because you will prove that you aren’t one of those “new fangled punks.”
4. Speech: Have clean, clear diction and speak sans “like” or “you know.” It is important to be articulate because that inspires a feeling of intelligence and education in the person you are meeting with. Always leave out profanity, and whatever you do, make sure to speak loud enough for all to hear, because conversationalists are easily agitated if you force them say “excuse me?” more than a few times.
5. Discretion: Choose what to share about yourself: forget to tell everyone about that time you went camping and ruptured your appendix, then fell face first into a pile of bug infested leaves—it is rude and will alienate you from the group. Try to withhold from conversations on personal subjects like religion or more disgusting topics like personal medical care. Before you speak, think about the possible impact of what you might say, then imagine its implications in the long run.
6. Humor: Humor can be your most powerful tool or your doom, because everyone has a slightly different sense of humor. What might be hilarious to you might seem disgusting to another, or vice versa. Try to withhold from any jokes that aren’t family or dinner table friendly; you can tell those later.
7. Start and End with a Bang: I am a classical musician, and in my orchestra, among other messages, the conductor tells us that the “audience remembers mostly the first and last notes of a symphony.” This is the same in a personal encounter: whoever you are meeting with will remember how you greet them, and then in what manner you left them. If you feel you have trouble with this, practice a few different phrases in the mirror, and introduce elements like: “pleased to meet you,” or “honored to make your acquaintance.” Ignore the antiquity of these phrases; it often makes them more memorable.

Making a good impression will set any relationship off on a good foot. If you are in a situation where you need to be judged at face value—such as a job interview or date—then make sure to go through this list and make sure you are within bounds of reason and good taste on all of your decisions.

Related reading: http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2007/03/16/how-to-make-a-great-first-impression/

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The gymnasium: a temple of meditation to some, an inconvenient house of pain to others. With time, the world has become more aware of fitness and the importance of taking care of one’s self. If you haven’t quite caught up with the fitness movement, I believe you should at least take a stab at it by going to the gym once a week at minimum—you will definitely thank yourself for it in the end.

1. Networking: In every gym, there are a menagerie of people of all different shapes and sizes, professions and experience levels. Whether you are single and looking for a date or a business executive looking for contacts, conversations started in the gym might open valuable doors for you. Chats at the water fountain might lead you to your next promotion!

2. Meditation: Life is busy, complicated, chaotic and emotional. Fitness is a great way to spend some quiet time in a mindless, almost meditative manner, which definitely helps when you’re stressed out–it definitely beats moping. After a work out, you feel calm and prepared for challenges to come, which boosts your productivity and creativity.

3. It feels great: People who work out generally hurt themselves less, don’t get sick as often and feel better on the whole. Working out energizes you, and works off any staleness that is growing in your body, reinvigorating you. If you suffer from anxiety, high stress or even depression, going to the gym could help improve your situation.

4. Keep up to date: The gym is a great place to watch television, read newspapers/magazines/books or listen to the radio, providing you with a time to stay up to date on your interests. If you have a bunch of boring paperwork from your job, why not jump on a stationary bike and read it? You’ll be productive and in good shape!

5. Amaze yourself: By training, you open up all kinds of new physical possibilities. After a while you will realize you will be able to do things you never thought you could do before with ease! Explore your body and observe how training different muscles has different effects; gain a new understanding for human anatomy. Set goals for yourself, and be amazed at how much you have improved.

These are just a few reasons to join your local fitness club; many more will make themselves apparent once you start working out in a gym. You have no more excuses: you do have time to go to the gym, because you can multitask when you are there, and maybe even make a few good contacts. No matter who you are, it is important to find time to improve yourself, and going to a gym does so to multiple levels.

Please post suggestions/ideas/results a comments!

I recently wrote a guest post entitled “Being a Diplomat in a Multicultural World” on Tiara Shafiq’s blog, EducateDeviate.

EducateDeviate is a blog centered around alternative education for youths, where Tiara posts editorial pieces as well as snippets of relevant information from all around the web. Tiara will soon be writing a guest post for Ask the Kid.

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Music is a great way to add spice to your day, easing you through boring times and accent events and time periods. I am going to suggest a few different ways to add a dimension to your day, but if you have any ideas, please post a comment! 

1. Wake up with music: Change your alarm clock from the annoying buzzer to a music radio station, or if you have CD or iPod capability, make a wake-up playlist to play as you start your day. I would suggest a lighter, more upbeat genre to energize you for the things to come. I personally enjoy Latin, Reggae and upbeat classical music. It is important to start one’s day on a happy foot, because sometimes a morning funk can ruin a day.
2. Mundane to Insane: If you do many boring chores, music can change your experience entirely. If you don’t own a portable radio/CD player/iPod already, invest in one, and try to find some music that matches your activity. For example: if you are working in the house, maybe “A Hard Knock Life” from Annie would fit the bill, or if you cooking, “Beat it,” from Michael Jackson’s thriller album might seem apropos. If you’re working on a car, “409” by the Beach Boys would be appropriate—you probably get my drift. Also, finding music with a defined beat often energizes you for intensive tasks like exercise because, especially when running, biking or walking, it is important to pace yourself, and music will act like a metronome for your activities.
3. Relax: When relaxing, choose very quiet and soothing music to eliminate background ambient noise. Sometimes a dog’s bark or a door slam can take you from your Zen state right back to everyday life. If you concentrate on the soothing music you choose (I recommend searching the internet for music meant for relaxation, like this: http://www.amazon.com/Effortless-Relaxation-Steven-Halpern/dp/B000003IUA) Concentrating on soothing music is a simple way to meditate, because you can easily shift your mind away from everyday life to your ‘special place.’ Relaxing a listening to music is also a great way to brainstorm, because you can clear your mind of everything. (If you are going to do that, I would recommend listening to music that is on the subject you are brainstorming.)
4. Share: Music is a great conversation subject, especially if you find people interested in the kinds you are. Create weekly gatherings where you are your friends listen to music, and analyze it. Different people will bring new and different dimensions to your understanding of love of music—always a bonus! If you are a musician, start a band and jam as often as possible. Music is a fabulous form of expression because it is beyond speech; it is more sophisticated. Words are set in stone and somewhat limited in use, but music is unregulated and free, letting you express yourself in any way you want.

I hope that this list helps you realize how much you can improve your life with music! Although music is great, it isn’t for every occasion, so use discretion when deciding when to listen.

Post any suggestions/ideas/results as comments.

P.S. Sorry for the post lengths/lack of posts: I have been really busy!